Trump, 79, Muses About Absolute Power While Covering His Bruised Hand

President Donald Trump still can’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that the United States is a democracy.

While signing an executive order aimed at preventing states from regulating artificial intelligence, Trump whined that states needed to be “unified” on his approach to AI, in order for the country to win global dominance over China.

“We have to be unified. China is unified because they have one vote, that’s President Xi . He says ‘do it,’ and that’s the end of that. You know, we have a different system,” Trump said. “But we have a system that’s good—but we only have a system that’s good if it’s smart.”

As the president spoke sitting behind his desk, he covered his right hand, where a massive, mysterious bruise has formed.

Meanwhile, the folks watching at home weren’t impressed by Trump’s longing for a unitary government, and his dismissal of his own country’s so-called “different system.”

“Yes, it’s called DEMOCRACY,” wrote California Governor Gavin Newsom on X.

This isn’t the first time Trump has longed for another form of government. After visiting China earlier this year, the president said he wished his Cabinet secretaries would greet him with stoic compliance (even though their meetings are already a well-documented spectacle of sycophancy.)